si es un sueño, quiero dormir por siempre.
contigo.
lindoluw.

i never though i could be this happy
before.
i don't want this happiness ever ends.
i love you
i'm in love with you.

Feliz, no me acordaba que podría serlo.
me haces feliz
pero hay algo que me da miedo
no sé si por necia
ella me da miedo, porque fue una parte muy grande de tu vida
y me asusta perderte
porque, aun no me creo que pueda ser asi de feliz
y te amo

no me arrepiento
de haber sido una porquería quemando a la E
para quedarme con una C, muchos mas agradable
y que me hizo olvidar tan rapido esa letra que no me agradaba.

note to self:
Always remember
not forget the knowledge
of letting go.

that's why i rather lie to you than tell you my true
cause i know i hurt you
and the person that i don't wanna ever hurt
is you mom
you have suffered enough
and i hate myself everytime
that i make your suffering grow.

"The Twelve Chains leading up to the Twelve Stages of Transcendent Dependent Origination

1. Ignorance leads to choice.
2. Choice leads to Consciousness.
3. Consciousness leads to Name and Form.
4. Name and Form lead to the Senses.
5. The Senses lead to Contact.
6. Contact leads to Sensation.
7. Sensation leads to Desire.
8. Desire leads to Attachment.
9. Attachment leads to Existence.
10. Existence leads to Birth.
11. Birth leads to Death.
12. Death.

or as Buddha himself said, "Thus, monks, with ignorance as proximate cause, volitional formations [come to be]; with volitional formations as proximate cause, consciousness; with consciousness as proximate cause, name-and-form; with name-and-form as proximate cause, the six sense bases; with the six sense bases as proximate cause, contact; with contact as proximate cause, feeling; with feeling as proximate cause, craving; with craving as proximate cause, clinging; with clinging as proximate cause, becoming; with becoming as proximate cause, birth; with birth as proximate cause, suffering" the twelve fold chain (as named by The Books) are the aforementioned obstacles which give way to the Twelve Stages of Transcendent Dependent Origination which ultimately leads to enlightenment. The twelve fold chain is not the end of Buddha's idea, he goes on to say "with suffering as proximate cause, faith; with faith as proximate cause, gladness; with gladness as proximate cause, rapture; with rapture as proximate cause, tranquility; with tranquility as proximate cause, happiness; with happiness as proximate cause, concentration; with concentration as proximate cause, the knowledge and vision of things as they really are; with the knowledge and vision of things as they really are as proximate cause, revulsion; with revulsion as proximate cause, dispassion; with dispassion as proximate cause, liberation; with liberation as proximate cause, the knowledge of destruction." Or in other words,
The twelve stages of transcendent dependent origination consist of:

(1) suffering which gives rise to
(2) faith which gives rise to
(3) gladness (or joy) which gives rise to
(4) rapture which gives rise to
(5) tranquility which gives rise to
(6) happiness which gives rise to
(7) concentration which gives rise to
(8) the knowledge and vision of things as they really are which gives rise to
(9) revulsion (or disenchantment) which gives rise to
(10) dispassion which gives rise to
(11) liberation (or emancipation) which gives rise to
(12) the knowledge of the destruction of the defilements."

another year
To see how fuck up is this world
i don't mean to be black or negative
but it's what i feel,
i know that the true is the better strategy
but i rather be haunted by my own lies
than mortify you mom, with my truth.